The Great Laundry Rebellion

Our apartment-building got “acquired” by a law firm, so we didn’t know what to expect. One day a youngish, clean-cut lawyer came by and introduced himself with a strong handshake, tilted head and half smile. He quickly turned on his boat shoes and set off to his golf club. A week later, I heard my upstairs neighbor, a lanky college student, freaking out down in the basement. They’d installed pay-laundry machines to replace the free laundry ones. And my student buddy had jammed the mechanism, accidentally using a nickel in one slot, and was trying to force it, now using a hammer to try to get it in, or out. But mostly he was just hitting the dang thing! I was too late to salvage any semblance of “his innocent mistake.” He suggested busting it open completely, but instead I proposed we check out an old washing machine in the back of the basement. We carried it over, hooked it up and, in a moment of magic, free laundry was restored. We moved the pay one near the stairs, perhaps a friendly hint that the pay ones should go, and free ones come back.. We still paid quarters, for the dryer, until one day I noticed the quarter-box was loose, and it pulled right out. I found I could remove quarters from it, re-insert them, and recycle them right back into the box. I’d then shove the box in, so it looked normal. I denied that this whole thing was starting to look bad. About a week later, I heard another freakout down in the basement. This time it was the landlord. I peeked out the window and saw his BMW in the driveway. I stood very still, and didn’t answer the door, as he stormed up and down the stairs knocking and pounding, breathing heavily. After he left, I paced, in a panic, then popped a cold beer to chill. The next Monday, a large, working class, blue collar guy came by and hooked up the Fort Knox of new, shiny, impenetrable, pay laundry machines, like two soldiers, standing stout and defiant! After a little tug on the immovable, tight pay boxes, a gliding hand along the smooth chassis mounts and an eye on the glint of bevelled edges I knew my low-rent wiles should be used to acquire more quarters, admire these sleek crafts of commerce, kick back a bit, and let capitalism take this round..